Why do people treat me badly?

Women very upset with mistreatment from others

Why do people treat me badly?

We all have people in our lives who treat us badly. We may sometimes wonder why they do this and how we can deal with it. In this article, we will explore some possible reasons why people treat you poorly and what you can do about it.

Many of us have been there at some point or another. Feeling hurt, confused and unsupported by those around us.


Wondering why people treat me badly? Why do I always attract the wrong people into my life? We put on a brave face, try to move on, but the words and actions of others can hurt us and affect our self-esteem and confidence.

We all want to feel accepted and loved by the people around us. However, it is common for people to be treated badly by others on a regular basis. This can happen in any situation where you are trying to form new relationships or connect with someone who already knows you.

The reasons why people treat us badly can be hard to understand. They may range from being influenced by their own experiences or situation, having an unhealthy relationship with themselves, feeling bad about themselves and projecting those feelings onto others or even just lacking a basic level of empathy for other human beings.

People treat me badly – so it must be something I’ve done!


If you ask yourself why people treat you badly, the answer is likely to be something along the lines of “It must be something I did.” After all, it’s easy to think that other people are criticizing us because we deserve it. This can make us feel like we have done something wrong and so we shouldn’t complain about how they treat us.

But this isn’t actually true; what we deserve and what others do to us are two different things! If someone says something mean or unpleasant to you, don’t take it personally unless they give a reason why they’re saying it (like if someone criticizes your hair colour or choice of clothes). Even then, keep in mind that there may be another side to their story – for example:

  • Your coworker might be angry at her boyfriend and taking out her frustration on everyone else around her – including you!
  • Your friend might not know how much effort went into creating your new outfit until she sees how great it looks on you!

Sometimes people treat us badly subconsciously. While we may not have done anything to deserve their actions we can still feel guilty and wonder if it’s our fault. Their behaviour could be coming from a place of insecurity or self-doubt. They may even be struggling with mental health problems that are causing them to behave in a certain way. Whatever the reason, it’s not your fault and you should never blame yourself for someone else’s actions.


Sometimes people treat us badly subconsciously. While we may not have done anything to deserve their actions we can still feel guilty and wonder if it’s our fault. Their behaviour could be coming from a place of insecurity or self-doubt. They may even be struggling with mental health problems that are causing them to behave in a certain way. Whatever the reason, it’s not your fault and you should never blame yourself for someone else’s actions.

If someone is abusing you in any way then talk to someone about it right away, because this type of treatment isn’t healthy or acceptable! If they continue to hurt you then consider leaving the relationship completely (or get out as soon as possible). It’s important that you don’t try and rationalize their behaviour or take responsibility for what’s happening; if they’re hurting or abusing you then there are better ways things could go down if only they’d stop being abusive first!

People treat me badly – how do I stop them?


If you find that people are treating you badly, the first thing to do is believe that they probably don’t mean to (this does not apply to abuse/domestic violence).

Most humans are just trying to survive and get through the day. If someone treats you badly, it’s probably because they’re having a bad day themselves. They’re stressed or anxious and taking it out on others. Unfortunately, this can leave you feeling helpless in the face of their behaviour – but there are things that you can do about it!

The first step is acknowledging what’s happening: when we feel like people are treating us unfairly, sometimes our instinct is to ignore it or not think too much about it. It will help if we remind ourselves that no one deserves to be treated poorly by anyone else; even if someone does something wrong towards us, we should respond with kindness so as not to perpetuate any cycle of negativity or bad feelings between two people who could otherwise be friends or even lovers someday in the future!

You don’t need to stop anyone from treating you badly because you don’t deserve to be treated in this way. Never allow people to take advantage of you or make you feel bad about being yourself. It is up to them to stop acting this way, not for you to deal with their issues for them. Focus on building a healthy circle of friends around you who value who you are and support you in everything that you do.


The people in your life who treat you poorly are not worth your time, energy or emotions. There is no point in trying to change them or make them like you more. You will only end up feeling worse about yourself when they continue to treat you badly despite all of your efforts and kindness towards them.

There are many ways that people can treat others poorly, such as:

  • Lying for attention (e.g., constantly needing reassurance)
  • They ostracize others with their behavior(s) (e.g., spreading rumors)
  • They use manipulation tactics (e.g., guilt-tripping/guilt trips)

You could be walking on eggshells with someone.


You might be walking on eggshells with someone.

That’s when you’re constantly worried about what the other person is going to say or do, so you try not to upset them and play it safe.

It might be that you are in a situation where others are using things against you intentionally.


If you’re in a situation where others are using things against you intentionally, it’s likely that they’re doing so because of their own personal issues. If a person is trying to harm or manipulate you, there’s likely some sort of reason for this; maybe they have something personal going on in their life or are struggling with their own problems.

You might not be able to fix the problem that is causing the person to act out, but there are ways in which you can protect yourself from being hurt by them.

Sometimes people treat us badly because they are unsure of themselves and their emotions.

This can be particularly true in the case of family members or friends who have a history with you, who may not want to lose your friendship or relationship. They may feel jealous of your skills, abilities, looks and life experiences. They may also worry that you might leave them out if you get too successful or happy.

They may find it easier to put you down than see these things in themselves; this is why some people have trouble accepting compliments from others as well.

Some people just don’t know any better.

If you’re a well-adjusted person, it’s easy to forget that most people aren’t like you. Sometimes people have had a bad day and they just don’t have the energy to deal with your issues right then. When someone is in this mode, they will often take out their frustration on whoever happens to be available at that time.

It is possible that your body language helps to create this dynamic with some people.

If you have chronic trouble with people who treat you badly, it is possible that your body language helps to create this dynamic with some people. If you are angry, or if you frown at someone, they may interpret those expressions as a challenge and respond with belligerence or even violence.

While most people would not take offence at a smile or polite greeting, others will interpret them as signs of weakness and attack in an attempt to assert control over the situation.

There could be a number of reasons why people act towards you the way they do, and there are many reasons why people behave badly.
  1. Who they are

It’s important to keep in mind that the people who treat you badly are probably also dealing with their own issues. That’s not an excuse for their behavior, but when you can understand where they are coming from and see things from a different perspective, it can help you feel less upset by their actions. For example:

  • Someone might be rude because they think they’re better than everyone else and want to rub your face in it
  • Another person might be mean because he feels inferior and doesn’t know how to make friends
  • Another person may insult you because he feels insecure about himself
2. Who you are

When you are treated badly, it’s usually because of how you’re perceived. Here are some common reasons:

  • You’re not a good listener.
  • You’re too direct or blunt with your comments or questions.
  • You don’t listen well to others’ ideas and opinions.
  • You lack assertiveness in your communication style, so you don’t speak up when something is wrong.
3. Who you’re not

If someone is treating you badly, it’s probably because of how they see you—not who you are. Don’t take it personally, and don’t let them get away with putting down your worthiness because of their negative beliefs about the world or themselves. If someone doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you, then there’s no need for them to act like a jerk toward me. This is especially true when they don’t even know me well enough to make that judgment call!

It is not always what we think.

If you’ve experienced bullying at some point in your life, you may have asked yourself these questions:

  • Why do people treat me so badly?
  • What did I do to deserve this?
  • How can I stop them from hurting me?

The answer is not as simple as it seems. You can’t always identify all the factors that cause someone to bully or be bullied, but there are some common reasons why people act this way.

The world doesn’t owe you anything.

It’s hard to grasp that the people who hurt us are not acting out of malice, but rather because they don’t know any better. We have to learn how to deal with it and move on. They don’t mean it, and even if they did, what will it change?

You will never be perfect, ever.

There is no such thing as the perfectly happy life and there are many things that you’ll want to change about yourself in the future. The sooner you realize this, the better off you’ll be.

You think that others should treat you nicely and the way you want to be treated.

Many people think that others should treat them nicely and the way they want to be treated. If a person doesn’t, you may feel that he or she is being unfair to you. You may also feel wronged if someone does something bad to you.

When you’re upset about another person’s behavior, it helps to ask yourself if his or her actions were deliberate or accidental. Someone who deliberately treats another person badly is usually mean and selfish, but accidents happen all the time. If an accident occurred, it’s best not to blame anyone for what happened because no one can control what happens in life!

You are your own worst critic.

If you’ve ever been treated badly by someone, the first thing that should come to mind is whether or not you could have done anything differently. It’s easy to blame other people for your troubles when in reality it is your own attitude that causes most of them (yes, even those random insults from strangers on the street). You need to take a step back and look at how what happened reflects on you before jumping to conclusions about who’s responsible for causing it.

You don’t recognise how angry you are.

You don’t recognise how angry you are, so they won’t tell you. If someone says something that upsets you or makes you angry, instead of thinking “Good! That person deserves to be treated badly for what he said!” try to consider what might have made him say it and think about any possible reasons why he might have done so. This will help your relationships with other people and make them less likely to treat you badly in future.

Please note that this is not an exhaustive list and may not cover your situation fully.

  • Because they’re insecure.
  • Because they want to hurt you.
  • Because they’re projecting their own feelings onto you.
  • Because they have a grudge against you and want to take it out on your face or body (in the case of physical abuse).

Feeling like you are being treated badly is one thing, knowing why people are treating you that way is another.

Knowing why people are treating you badly is one thing, feeling like they are is another.

It may be helpful to keep in mind that even the most well-meaning people can have negative intentions and motives. This doesn’t mean you should assume the worst of everyone who hurts your feelings or does something that upsets you; however, it does mean that there’s generally more going on than meets the eye. In other words, even if someone seems “nice” on the surface but has a toxic attitude towards others (including you), there’s likely an underlying reason for their behaviour—and this reason might not be as innocent as first appearances suggest.

The next time someone treats you poorly and leaves an impression of being cold-hearted or uncaring in some way, stop for a moment and ask yourself what could possibly motivate them to act this way toward others. Do they have some personal issues they need help with? Are they dealing with problems at work/school/home? Is there something going on in their life right now that’s affecting how they interact with others? Chances are good there’s more going on behind closed doors than what meets the eye!

Not everyone will like you, or treat you well, but what if everyone around you seems to be treating you badly? What then?

Let’s say that you’re trying to have a good time and everyone around you is giving you the cold shoulder. It’s not uncommon—in fact, it happens to everyone at some point or another. You may have just done something wrong and not realized it yet, or maybe your friends are just in bad mood today, or maybe they’re jealous because they like someone else more than they like you.

If this keeps happening over and over again though, then perhaps there’s another reason why this might be happening: people may feel threatened by how great things are going for you! If people see that there are others out there who are happy with their lives, then what does that say about how happy their lives really are? It could make them feel insecure about themselves; so instead of actually facing those emotions head-on (which would require them doing some soul-searching) some people will seek out ways of bringing down those around them who seem happier than they do—and if they can’t bring them down directly then they’ll likely try to get other people around them involved in their plan too!

Why do people treat me badly? Well, the first question to ask yourself is this. Are they, really?

We all know that the first step to fixing a problem is to recognize what it is, so let’s start with that.

If the answer is yes…

If your answer is yes, one of the most important things to do is to find yourself a good therapist. If you don’t already have one, I recommend starting with a referral from someone you trust.

You can also check out this list of therapists who specialize in treating trauma and abuse survivors. And if you’re looking for more research-based tips on how to get help from a therapist, this article by Psychology Today has a lot of information about how therapy works and what questions to ask if you want the best chance at getting better.

If the answer is no…

You’ve come to the right place. In this article, we’ll discuss common reasons why people treat you badly and how to handle them. Remember: what others say or do towards you doesn’t have to be a reflection of who you are. You might be treated poorly because of factors out of your control—like being in an abusive relationship—or because someone has a problem with themselves that they’re projecting onto you. Don’t let them drag you down and make yourself feel bad about yourself! That’s not fair, and it’s not your fault.

Hope this helps.

Don’t hesitate to get in touch for a chat about how things are for you.

If you need support, please contact us at Hello@OnlineCounsellingClinic.co.uk and we’ll do our best to assist you.

Hopefully, this has helped to shed some light on why people may be treating you poorly. I know how hard it is when others do not treat us well and it can feel like a struggle sometimes. It’s important to remember that there are always positive ways forward, so take care of yourself by surrounding yourself with people who truly care about you and invest time in relationships that are worth it!


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