Self-criticism

SELF CRITICISM

If you are one of those people who constantly criticise yourself for things that are not fair or reasonable, then I am here to tell you that it’s time to stop. Self-criticism is the worst kind of criticism because it is usually so destructive and untrue. It can be a cause of anxiety, depression, stress and low self-esteem. People who are constantly self-critical often find it difficult to enjoy their achievements or to see the good in themselves. Where does it come from? Often self-criticism stems from childhood experiences where we were criticised by our parents or other adults around us. In many cases children internalise this criticism and when they grow up they become their own biggest critic. This makes sense because often as children we were told that if we tried harder or were more disciplined or paid more attention we would do better!

Self-criticism is the worst kind of criticism, because it is usually so destructive and untrue.

Self-criticism is the worst kind of criticism, because it is usually so destructive and untrue. This can lead to anxiety, depression, stress and low self-esteem. It makes it hard to enjoy your achievements or feel good about yourself in any way. Self-criticism can make you feel bad about yourself when you are doing something that many people would consider to be a good thing.

People who are constantly self-critical often find it difficult to enjoy their achievements or to see the good in themselves.

People who are constantly self-critical often find it difficult to enjoy their achievements or to see the good in themselves. They will be more likely to feel depressed and anxious, stressed, low on energy and generally negative about themselves.

Where does it come from?

  • Self-criticism is a learned behaviour. It’s something that people learn and then repeat over time, often without realizing it.
  • It can come from past experiences. Maybe you had a teacher who was very critical of your work, or maybe your parents were harsh with their words when they criticized you as a child. Either way, the emotional impact of these events has been lodged in your memory so deeply that they continue to affect your behaviour years later.
  • It can be used as an emotional coping mechanism. When we’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed by life’s challenges, it often helps us cope if we think negatively about ourselves — it makes us feel better because it focuses our minds on what we perceive as our faults rather than all the problems going on around us right now (and gives us an excuse not to deal with said problems).

Often self-criticism stems from childhood experiences where we were criticised by our parents or other adults around us.

There are many reasons why you might be self-critical, but it is important not to think that this is your fault. Often self-criticism stems from childhood experiences where we were criticised by our parents or other adults around us, who in turn may have been repeating what was done to them by their parents. It can also come from a lack of understanding of who we are and how amazing and beautiful we all are as individuals.

Often, it’s hard for us see the good in ourselves because we don’t know what our strengths are or how they could help us get where we want to go in life. If you find yourself struggling with self-confidence and feeling down on yourself, try these methods and strategies:

In many cases children internalise this criticism and when they grow up they become their own biggest critic.

Children are very impressionable. They learn quickly, especially when it comes to words and actions.

If your parents were critical of you growing up, then it’s likely that you internalised this criticism and when you grow up, the harsh words will become your own biggest critic. You will have internalised a belief that you need to be a certain way or look a certain way or perform in certain ways in order to be accepted by others or even feel good about yourself. If your parents were critical of their own bodies or appearance, if they criticised themselves often or didn’t like parts of themselves for reasons such as age or size etc., it’s possible that these ideas were passed on through the home environment and embedded within our psyches at an early age. When we grow up with those messages still held onto tightly (even subconsciously), they can turn into lifelong sentences that we must be “better” than how we currently feel about ourselves when looking in the mirror – because this is what our parents wanted us to strive for!

This makes sense because often as children we were told that if we tried harder or were more disciplined or paid more attention we would do better.

It makes sense that if you were told as a child that if you tried harder or were more disciplined, paid attention and so on, then you would do better. The problem is that this type of criticism comes from people who are supposed to love and care for us. Unfortunately they don’t always know how or what to say. When we are children our minds are like sponges soaking up everything around us especially when it concerns our own self worth! This can lead many of us into adulthood with a lifetime of self criticism.

It is so easy to turn this into a lifelong sentence that me must be “better”.

Self-criticism is a cycle that can be extremely difficult to break. It begins with the thought, “I’m not good enough.” This thought is followed by feelings of shame and guilt, which triggers negative thoughts about yourself and how others perceive you. The more you think these thoughts, the more they become ingrained into your mind as fact—and this feeds into a vicious cycle of self-criticism.

You may be asking yourself: How do I break this cycle? One way is to stop feeding into it with negative self-talk and replace it with positive or neutral statements like “I did my best; it wasn’t perfect but neither am I!” or “There are things I can change but there are also things that don’t really matter.” When we start saying these things instead of beating ourselves up for our mistakes we give ourselves permission to just be human instead of always being perfect.

See the light of day in your life, you deserve it!

If you are feeling down, try to see the light of day in your life. Look at the positive side of things, what you have achieved and what you are good at. Be kind to yourself, have a good laugh at yourself, and be grateful for what you have. Try to be positive about your life as much as possible even when things seem difficult or negative.

Most of us have heard the saying “you are your own worst critic” and if you are constantly being self-critical then it seems like a total truth. If you want to change this negative pattern, then try accepting yourself as who you are and taking responsibility for your actions. This doesn’t mean giving up or not trying hard enough, but rather trying something different that works better for you. You deserve happiness!

 

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