Transactional analysis online to make sense of how you relate
Ever found yourself sulking like a teenager, or lecturing someone like a strict parent, and wondered where it came from? Transactional analysis gives you a clear, practical way to understand how you communicate and why some conversations always go wrong. Sessions are held by secure video, from home.
- Qualified, vetted therapists
- Evening & weekend sessions
- Talk from home
A down-to-earth way to understand people
Transactional analysis, often called TA, was developed by the Canadian-born psychiatrist Eric Berne in the 1950s. Berne wanted a way of understanding the mind that ordinary people could grasp and use, not just therapists.
At its heart is a simple observation: in any conversation, we're coming from one of three states of mind, which Berne called Parent, Adult and Child. The way these states meet between two people shapes whether an exchange goes smoothly or turns into conflict.
Online transactional analysis helps you notice which state you're in, understand the patterns you picked up early in life, and choose more helpful ways to respond. It's warm, practical and easy to relate to.
Parent, Adult and Child: the three ego states
Berne suggested we all move between three ego states, each with its own way of thinking, feeling and behaving.
Parent
Attitudes and behaviour copied from the parents and carers we grew up with. It can be nurturing and protective, or controlling and critical. You might hear it in words like "should", "must" and "always".
Adult
The calm, thinking part of us that deals with the here and now. It weighs up facts, solves problems and responds rather than reacts.
Child
The feelings and reactions we carry from childhood. It holds our creativity, playfulness and spontaneity, but also old hurts, fears and rebellion.
Life scripts
Berne believed we write an unconscious plan for our lives early on, based on messages we received as children. TA helps you notice your script and rewrite the parts that no longer serve you.
Understanding transactions, changing the conversation
Berne called each exchange between two people a transaction. When you speak from your Adult to someone else's Adult, things tend to go well. But if you speak Adult to Adult and they reply from a critical Parent, or a hurt Child, the transaction gets crossed and communication breaks down. Once you can see this happening, you have far more choice about how to respond.
Understanding other people's ego states also helps you take their reactions less personally and get along better with them. Many people find TA useful in relationship therapy and in working through anger and conflict.
Starting is simpler than you think
Reaching out is often the hardest part. From there, we'll guide you through each step.
Get in touch
Fill in our short contact form and tell us the best time to call. Share as much or as little as you like.
We'll call you
We'll ring at the time you chose for a relaxed, no-pressure chat about what's going on and what you'd like help with.
Start your sessions
We'll match you with a therapist who suits you and send a secure video link. Then you just log on.
Questions about transactional analysis
Yes. TA has been used and developed by therapists around the world since Eric Berne introduced it in the 1950s, and there are recognised professional trainings in it.
Yes. TA is based on conversation and reflection, which work well over secure video. Some people even find it easier to notice their patterns while talking from home.
Not exactly. They're ways of thinking and feeling that we all carry. The Parent state is shaped by the adults we grew up with, and the Child state by our own early experiences, but everyone has all three.
It often can. Understanding how you and your partner communicate can take the heat out of repeating arguments. You can work on this individually or together in couples counselling.
Some people get a lot from a short, focused block of sessions; others prefer deeper, longer-term work on life scripts. You'll review progress together and you're never locked in.
You'll find our current prices on our fees page. Sessions last 50 minutes.
Start changing the way you connect
Send us a message and we'll get back to you within 24 hours to arrange a call at a time that suits you.
Opening hours
- Monday – Friday9:00 – 20:00
- Saturday10:00 – 15:00
- Sunday10:00 – 15:00
We can't offer crisis support. If you're in danger or feel unable to keep yourself safe, call 999 or go to A&E. You can call Samaritans free, day or night, on 116 123, or NHS 111 (option 2 for mental health). See our crisis support page for more.