People pleasing

PEOPLE PLEASING

PEOPLE PLEASING

People pleasing is a behaviour that has the intent to make others happy but often leaves the “pleaser” feeling exhausted or resentful. People pleasers are often mentally healthy individuals who have empathy for others and want to help them feel good and safe. However, being a people pleaser can be very taxing on someone’s mental health as well as their physical health.

 

People pleasing is a form of co-dependency and often stems from low self-esteem. People pleasers are often labelled as afraid to say no because they don’t want to upset anyone. They often lack confidence, so they feel like others will judge them if they don’t agree with them or don’t do what the other person wants.

 

 

MENTAL HEALTH

People-pleasing is a form of co-dependency. If you’re a people pleaser, it means that you put others before yourself and avoid conflict at all costs. This makes sense because when we are constantly pleasing others, they tend to like us more than if we were honest or said no sometimes. People pleasers can be so focused on pleasing others that they lose themselves completely—and sometimes even their physical health!

People-pleasers often feel anxious, exhausted, and burnt out because they’re trying so hard to keep up with an endless cycle of tasks and responsibilities. They may also experience guilt if someone says something negative about them or the work, they do for them (even if it’s just an offhand comment).

It’s easy to be a people pleaser. We all know what it feels like to want everyone in our lives to think we are awesome and make them happy, but constantly striving for that is exhausting and can even lead to feeling resentful towards other people.

So how do you stop being so concerned about what others think of you? It’s important to remember that nobody has ever been able to control how their friends or family feel about them, so why not focus on being yourself instead?

 

Here’s what you need to know about people pleasing:

  • It’s a form of controlling behaviour, where you try to make other people happy (usually at your own expense).
  • People pleasers are often afraid or unwilling to say no. They may feel like they’re not good enough, so they try extra hard to please everyone so they can feel accepted or wanted.
  • The problem with being a people pleaser is that it can lead to stress, anxiety and depression because you’re constantly putting yourself last. A big part of feeling healthy mentally is being able to take care of yourself first sometimes—and that doesn’t always mean doing everything for others all the time!

We all know that person. They always say yes to requests, they never want to rock the boat or step on any toes, and they value everyone else’s needs over their own. These are typically the people who are likely to put themselves in an uncomfortable situation just so someone else will be happy. They will pick up the tab at a restaurant without even thinking about it, offer to drive a drunk friend home from a party, and days off from work are spent taking care of others. All of this can be very exhausting for the helper but also for those who take advantage of these good people, who don’t realize how bad it feels when you say yes, all the time. In fact, saying yes can be emotionally draining and unhealthy, leaving you feeling burnt out.

 

What is “people pleasing” anyway?

The term “people pleasing” comes from the common belief that if we do what others want, they will love us and value us. People pleasers are often people who were raised in a home where their needs were not met, and their boundaries were never respected. They learned that in order to be loved and accepted, they had to try hard to please everyone else.

People pleasers often find themselves feeling trapped by the expectations of others, which can lead them into a cycle of guilt and shame when they don’t meet those expectations (or fail at making others happy).

We all know that person. They always say yes to requests, they never want to rock the boat or step on any toes, and they value everyone else’s needs over their own. These are typically the people who are likely to put themselves in an uncomfortable situation just so someone else will be happy. They will pick up the tab at a restaurant without even thinking about it, offer to drive a drunk friend home from a party, and days off from work are spent taking care of others. All of this can be very exhausting for the helper but also for those who take advantage of these good people, who don’t realize how bad it feels when you say yes all the time. In fact, saying yes can be emotionally draining and unhealthy, leaving you feeling burnt out

 

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