Attachment Based Therapy

The theory describes how children develop an “internal working model” of themselves, others, and their relationships with others.

In attachment theory, the internal working model (IWM) is an unconscious mental mechanism that is created in early childhood and helps us understand ourselves and others. It’s a set of beliefs about the self, others, and relationships with others.

According to Bowlby, there are three main types of attachment styles: secure, anxious-ambivalent, and avoidant. Each style has its own unique set of characteristics which can be observed in adulthood as well as during childhood.

Secure

A secure attachment style is the most common type of attachment style and its associated with a number of positive outcomes. Children who are securely attached tend to be more confident and better able to handle stress, which can help them develop into well-adjusted adults. Securely attached children also tend to have more positive views of themselves as they grow up, which may help them avoid depression or negative self-esteem later in life.

Finally, secure attachments are associated with better relationships throughout adulthood because people who were securely attached as children tend to have fewer issues with intimacy.

Anxious-Ambivalent

Anxious-ambivalent attachment style is characterized by a person who is clingy and dependent on others, but who is also resentful, angry, and critical. People with this attachment style are often the most demanding of their partners.

In relationships, this can manifest as a tendency to seek out romantic partners who are unavailable or unreliable a classic example being when someone chooses to date someone who has recently gone through a breakup (or multiple breakups). The anxious-ambivalent person may also be drawn to people who are physically abusive or controlling because they want someone there for them but don’t want to feel like they’re being smothered by too much closeness.

Avoidant

If you have an avoidant attachment style, you may be more likely to:

• Think that your needs are unimportant or non-existent.
• Feel uncomfortable when asked for intimacy and affection. This can lead to feelings of resentment or anger toward others who try to get close to you.
• Prefer being alone over being with others, even if it means not having any friends at all!

Disorganized

Disorganized attachment is a type of insecure attachment that is characterized by a lack of consistent caregiving. This can include inconsistent or abusive caregivers, trauma in the form of neglect or abuse, or frequent changes in caregivers. In all cases, infants with disorganized attachment experience an inability to develop trust in their primary caregiver because their needs are not being met. Infants with disorganized attachments will often exhibit symptoms such as:

• Inability to regulate emotions; this includes being overly sensitive or insensitive about themselves and others’ feelings.
• Disorganization around food intake (i.e., eating too much or too little)
• Difficulty sleeping through the night without waking up several times throughout.